The Agnostic that Loves God

     An agnostic is a person that remains neutral in the existence of God or some deity. They cannot prove or disprove that God exists so they are neither an atheist nor a believer in God. It’s a little contradictory, therefore, than to call myself an agnostic that loves God. Make no mistake, I don’t believe in God or any deity.

     But billions of people believe and have believed in their own versions of God and, in the name of this god, they do great things and commit terrible acts. We can see this today in certain charity organizations and the Taliban, examples of the different interpretation of God’s will. When I say I love God, I think of the former and I also think of people who are going through a hard time. Often, these people pray to God and hope for a miracle.

     It’s this faith that makes me love God. This faith that people believe in with such fervor, that causes them to help each other indiscriminately (at least most of the time). This faith that someone a lot bigger than all of this cares for you and everyone, not only in your life but your afterlife. This faith that inspires many to lead better lives and saves quite a few. It’s this faith that gives hope to the hopeless, a way out for those trapped, a reason to keep going. That’s why I love God.

     However, it’s this same faith in a god that causes religious wars and terrorism. It strikes fear into people by threatening an eternity of pain in the afterlife. Countless have died in history and today because of a god that might actually be malevolent or not all-powerful. A famous argument by the Ancient Greek Epicurus against God goes like this:

“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then He is not omnipotent.

Is He able, but not willing? Then He is malevolent.

Is He both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?

Is He neither able nor willing? Then why call Him God?”

     This argument, combined with the faith I see in the stricken, created a minor religious crisis in me last year and it developed into what I believe today: God may or may not exist and it’s okay if he does or doesn't. What matters is what happens in our lives. If people make good decisions because of God, then I say let this notion continue, so that they may live a good life.

    Maybe it’s inaccurate to say that I, the agnostic, love God. I think it’s better to say that I love the faith people put in Him and the good lives they lead because of it. So long as the uncertainty of God’s existence exists, people will continue to do good things and that’s why I love God. 

"Draw with Me" Theories

Before we dive into outlandish theories, please spend ten minutes watching this video: Draw with Me. It is divided into three parts: Draw with Me, Draw with Me 2 (2:55) and Drawn with Me: I Love You (3:19). It is absolutely vital to watch all three to understand and appreciate the plot and the following fan theories.

Draw with Me is one of my favorite animations by a non-corporation. Between the thought-provoking plot and cute visuals, there’s a lot to love in this mini-series. But I wanted to focus on the story in this post, because there are many uncertainties that I wanted to share my thoughts on.

The premise of Draw with Me is that a boy and a girl are separated by a glass that repairs itself after being broken (1:52) and that the only way the two can communicate are through whimsical drawings and writing backwards. Attempts to go over the glass or by speaking fail and they must resort to drawing (3:00).

Onto some major theories: Near the end of the first part, Lilian (the girl, right-handed) gives a present to Zefyr (the boy, left-handed) (2:53). The present is an arm and if you look at Lilian’s left arm for the rest of the animation, you can see it is never again clearly depicted. She is either wearing a cloak or a shirt that doesn’t necessarily have a left arm in it. Meanwhile, Zefyr reappears with a functional left arm in the third part. While this can be attributed to natural healing, Lilian is never again shown with her left arm. Somehow, Lilian was able to give her left arm to Zefyr so that he may draw again.  Being a world of anthropomorphic animals, we can't rule out that technology had advanced far enough in their time to be able to reattach an arm.

I think the biggest question, however, is “How are they able to talk to each other again in the third part?” or “Is the glass still there?” I like to think that Lilian and Zefyr both built half of a home on each side of the glass, thus blocking out any outside noise, which had prevented them from being able to hear each other previously. Whoever created the glass must have approved of this, but not of a tall enough house that either Lilian or Zefyr could climb over. There are not many people powerful enough to create an unbreakable glass and enforce it unless a government is involved. A government that was able to separate the two species with some new technology, such as unbreakable glass.

The one segment that eludes explanation for me, however, is how Zefyr is able to write “I love you” on Lilian’s drawing near the end (10:16). Added with Zefyr’s statement “If we had love back then without the friggin’ glass,” (10:21) it implies that the glass isn't there anymore, possibly that their oppressive government had been overthrown and the glass removed.

With reference to real life, is this an allegory for the Berlin Wall and some forbidden love between two people from opposite sides of the Wall? Initially, I thought so. But a passing comment from a person and their relationship with their long distance friend made me realize that Draw with Me was an allegory for long distance relationships.

Typically, these types of couples communicate through Skype or some other type of video chat, to be able to see each other but frustratingly be unable to touch. The unbreakable glass is the glass of a computer screen. The pains Lilian and Zefyr go through to continue their relationship is reflected in  the pains of long distance couples. 

But hey, it’s just a theory. A fan theory! Endless theories exist about what could’ve happened and what might happen to our two lovers. Do or did they really have a government? What if the two species has ended a war recently and wanted to end all contact between the two by agreeing to create a glass wall? Did the two species later realize their mistake and break down the glass? Who knows? It’s up to you to decide what you believe.



Don't forget, you can still order your special edition Draw with Me shower curtains today! That's right, today!As you revitalize yourself in the shower, inspire yourself at the same time with these lovely curtains! So order now, while supplies last!
You must be 18 years or older to order. Curtain rod, shower curtain liner and hooks not included. Shipping and handling fee are included.

Messenger of Fear

It was three years ago when I became the Messenger of Fear. Before I became one of them, I had been drifting through electives, searching for one that seemed right. Alas, nothing appealed to me so I settled for the “Wheel” option for another year. What a waste it would have been. I’m glad that I raised my hand that day, that one day in Metal Shop.

It was near the beginning of the year when we were still on our first projects that M.C. Glathery diverged from our normal procedure and made an announcement. An elective for this period had been empty for the last few weeks and needed filling, would anyone like to volunteer?

I thought of my prototype box in that moment. I saw the badly drawn lines and the poorly cut corners. I imagined this box in my room, gathering dust for weeks afterwards. I made my decision. I raised my hand.

I am the Messenger of Fear. When it is time for my duty, I bring the target to either their doom or their prosperity.  In the name of justice, I bring in every target I am asked. For their actions, they must receive punishment or prosperity. It is only right.

Behind my desk, I can already see the targets’ fates from my employer’s face. If she is smiling, they prosper. If she frowns, they are punished. Mostly she frowns. The doomed must repent, I remind myself, and the blessed must continue their duty.

When I step through the threshold, I receive only stares and the downcast look from those who know they are doomed. I instill fear among the innocent and the one target. The steps from threshold to teacher are some of the longest I've walked. Even a Messenger wonders who the target is, whether they are blessed or doomed and if they deserve it.

When I pass through the threshold again, I am leaving with a target behind me. Sometimes they ask questions I cannot answer. Trouble? I don’t know. I am but a Messenger. Most of the time, they trail behind me because they have realized their deed. They await justice and I bring it to them. Or rather, I bring the doomed to justice.

This has been an autobiographical parody of the book of the same name by Michael Grant (shameless promotion, go read the book). In reality, I was an Office Monitor that delivered passes from a counselor to a student, whether it was for something good or bad they had done. It was my elective in seventh and eighth grade and I really enjoyed it. When I looked back on it after reading Messenger of Fear, I found that a greatly exaggerated Office Monitor and a Messenger of Fear really aren't that different.

Seeing things differently lends a new perspective of things, a different perception of what is being observed. I could call Batman a Messenger of Fear based on the fear he instills in his enemies and the justice he brings to them. Therefore, I can call myself Batman.

Now if you excuse me, Alfred, my humble butler, has duties to attend to and can no longer type my blog post. Signing out, Bruce Wa Batman

Clear Skies are Overrated

Some of the most breathtaking sights one can see are framed in the sky, behemoths that float effortlessly and pass fleetingly. They come in different shapes and varieties and colors. For the low, low cost of nothing at all, you too can witness the beautiful sight of clouds.

Beauty, or rather beautiful things, is often associated with humans, most notably women. But beautiful things exist beyond just humans and don’t require makeup or plastic surgery. I find that simply looking up at the clouds is the simplest, yet most rewarding experience.

After a tiring day or before going to school, anytime at all really, one can relax by watching the clouds for just a minute. You can look for patterns or even turn around and watch another patch of a boundless sky. Even better, one can come back to the same cloud watching spot an hour later on a windy day and find different clouds.

One day, when I was walking home on a lonely street of smog and vehicles, I decided, out of the blue, to look up and I found myself staring at the sky. I was awestruck by the intensity of red in the clouds that converged on a single point, the eye of the storm where the sun shone with all its brilliance in the most beautiful sunset I had ever seen. Drivers passing by saw a boy looking west, his mouth slightly open and he seemed to shiver as he stood, not from the cold but from witnessing something so magnificent.

As sudden as the awe had come, it passed and thoughts of being late again for dinner crept back into my mind. I took one last long look before staring at the sidewalk again, letting my feet guide me to home. A cyclist passed by me and she called out to me, a stranger, “Look up, dude!” It was as if the clouds had beckoned me back and the sunset wanted me to watch it, for just a minute longer. She told me a joke before she rode off into the sunset and I didn’t feel quite as alone anymore.

To this day, I still watch clouds to find a sunset rivaling the one I had seen that day. I found magnificence and beauty in a sunset that was easy to find. All I had to do was look up. 

Boys Who Cry

A man must stand straight and tall. He must be a role model for his peers. His emotions are to remain a general mystery, but he may show satisfaction, disappointment and anger. He may not be excessively joyous, overly expressive or show weakness in character. If a man does so, he is not a man and consequently not manly. Dropping his façade has the previous consequence. Therefore, crying is weak.

Men accepted these terms as young boys without reading the fine print because their parents tell them to “choke back those tears, you’re a man” and these “men” can suffer for it.

But a woman may give hugs and kisses, she can give compliments to friends, she can talk about her feelings and she may cry without anyone thinking less of her. She may express herself freely and will not be judged for it. She accepted these terms without having to read the fine print, because she’s a woman.

It’s a well-known fact that males cry less than females after elementary school. On average, men cry 1.4 times in a month while women cry about 5.3 times per month, almost four times as much (Brodesser-Akner). Yet guys have the same emotional awareness as girls, but just don’t express it.  They have to play it cool so that they aren’t seen as weak or vulnerable.

The root of the problem lies in the image of an ideal man, a strong, independent individual. The hunter, the Renaissance man, the working man. One “man” quotes that “crying and expressing feelings shows helplessness. Men are leaders and are meant to be. So they can not show that they are helpless.”

I have never thought of males as the dominant gender. I grew up with just one parent, my father who played both roles. He cooked and cleaned and worked while raising two baby boys and two adolescent girls. My mother was my father and my father was still my father. There was never such a thing as a housewife in my home. It made sense to me that boys and girls would cry and express themselves in equal amounts.

So, as I entered elementary school, I thought it was natural to cry when one was hurt. I cried more often than other kids, but I was okay with that, and so were other kids for the time being. But as I grew older, I was repeatedly told that men don't cry and asked if I was a man, which I would always respond "yes." It seemed the natural thing to say, considering I was a boy, not a long stretch from a man.

But the issue wasn't that I was going to kindergarten and crying, I was a boy and I was crying.

I needed an outlet for fear, sadness, pain, anxiety, anger and I found it in crying, instead of building it up for weeks and releasing it in a fit of anger. “If you don’t learn how to work with your emotions, you’re a shadow figure, a small truncated version of yourself. It’s only a matter of time until the house of cards that you are falls apart,” says psychologist Kenneth Christian.

So guys, show your emotions. Cry when you need to, laugh when you want to, but, most of all, don’t be afraid. Every person has their fears and doubts, especially men, because of a standard society sets for them, but that shouldn’t stop them. Now, more than ever, is the time for expression of our emotions from happiness to confusion to anger to sadness, so have a good cry someday.

In Response to "Community Post #1: Exposing Hidden Biases at Google to Improve Diversity"

Frankly, the gender of an employee, or anybody for that matter, shouldn't matter because a person should be hired based on their skill, not on some prerequisites they may or may not have. This can justify men's dominance in the tech world, simply because they are more skilled in tech than women. However, that reasoning is flawed because of gender bias. Women aren't given the same opportunities to be as skilled as men in the tech world and in other parts of society (Manjoo). Subtle prejudice plays a huge role in this. We may not notice it, but we are all victims and culprits of some kind of bias. 

For example, José Zamora used to send in online résumés that probably contained similar qualifications as other people trying for the same job. Yet, he didn't get any results for months or any callbacks from employers until he changed his name from José to Joe. It's thought that sending résumés online should prevent bias because the employer doesn't see the potential employee's skin color. Yet, the difference of a couple letters changed or dropped meant life-changing difference to "Joe." If all it takes is a name to characterize a person, too many people are already at a disadvantage.(Carrasquillo). 

I don't mind that the tech field, or any other fields, are dominated by males as long as there are no other better qualified people—either male or female—available. For this reason, I believe having significantly more than half of a workplace being male or white or Asian isn't, or at least shouldn't be, a problem. There is a problem, however, when a person is subjected to unfair bias and doesn't have the chance to succeed in a field they want to work in. Why shouldn't Tina be a techie and Tommy a teacher? Because of their genders, a person's potential is limited by prejudice they can't control starting from the day that they are born.